Dmitry Medvedev, former prime minister, former president, currently Chairman of Russia’s Security Council, always Putin’s mouthpiece, issued an address to the nation.
The occasion was National Unity Day, and Dmitry clearly set out to enunciate what it is that unites the nation. If you have any doubts that the unifying factor is a rapid onset of madness exacerbated by alcoholism, the address should dispel them.
That’s why today I’ll act not as a writer but merely as a translator. My friend Dmitry can speak with enviable eloquence not only for himself but also for his people. Nor do you need my commentary to establish your own diagnosis of both individual and collective lunacy. So here comes:
What are we fighting for? Russia is a vast and rich country. We don’t need other people’s territories; we have plenty of our own. But there exists our own land, which is sacred to us, where our ancestors lived and where our people are still living. And which we won’t cede to anyone. We are defending our people. We are fighting for our own, for our land, for the millennia of our history.
Who is fighting against us? We are fighting against those who hate us, who ban our language, our values and even our faith, those who sow hatred for the history of our Motherland.
Opposing us is a fragment of a dying world. It’s a gang of deranged Nazi drug addicts, the people they’ve befuddled and blackmailed, along with a large pack of howling dogs from the Western kennel. With them is a motley herd of grunting porcine creatures and backward philistines from the disintegrated western empire, those with the saliva of degeneracy running down their chins. They have no faith or ideals, other than the obscene habits they themselves have concocted and their self-made standards of double-think rejecting the morals given to normal people. That’s why, by having risen against them, we’ve acquired a sacral power.
Where are our former friends? Some scared partners have rejected us – and to hell with them. This proves that they were not our friends but only accidental fellow travellers, leeches and hangers-on.
Cowardly traitors and greedy turncoats have run for the hills – may their bones rot abroad. They are no longer among us, which makes us stronger and purer.
Why did we keep silent for so long? We were weak and paralysed by the interregnum. But now we’ve shaken off the sticky stupor and depressing mire of the past decades, in which we were thrown by the death of our previous Motherland. Our awakening was awaited by other countries, those raped by the lords of darkness, slave traders and oppressors who longingly daydream of their monstrous colonial past and seek to preserve their power over the world. Many countries no longer believe their gibberish, but they are still running scared. They too will soon wake up once and for all. And when the rotten world order collapses, it’ll bury under the tonnes of its rubble all its prideful shamans, bloodthirsty practitioners and speechless dummies.
What are our weapons? Weapons can be different. We are capable of sending all our enemies to hell, but this isn’t our task. We are listening to the Creator’s words in our hearts and obeying them. It’s these words that define our holy mission. The mission is to stop the Supreme Prince of the Inferno, whichever name he goes by – Satan, Lucifer or Devil. For his aim is death. Our aim is life.
His weapons are intricate lies.
And our weapon is Truth.
It’s because of this that our cause is just.
It’s because of this that victory will be ours!
Stirring stuff, that. This should serve as a useful reminder that alcohol ought to be a beverage of moderation. Once delirium tremens sets in, it’s too late to arrest a mental collapse.
Now what do you think of a nation that listens to its clinically deranged leaders and, in overwhelming numbers, jumps up and salutes? And what do you think of our own useful idiots who wish we ourselves had strong leaders like these?
I could tell you what I think, but won’t. It ought to be self-evident.