The Gospel according to Dave

Seeing the multitudes, Dave went up into Westminster: and when he was set, his Ministers and the multitudes came upon him:

And Dave opened his mouth and taught them, saying,

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; but I say unto you that whosoever payeth cash shall be in danger of hell fire.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit tax evasion: But I say unto you that whosoever committeth avoidance hath committed evasion already in his heart; his is hell fire.

And if the State will sue thee at law for avoidance, and take away thy money, let it take thy house also.

Therefore when the State doest thou out of thine alms, verily I say unto you, Give it its reward.

Blessed are the poor in mind for they shall inherit Westminster.

Blessed are the poor in money for they shall inherit the social alms.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst for the dole as they shall be filled.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For the State knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

Blessed are the fatherless for they shall be called the wards of the State.

Behold the fowls of the air; for they sow not, neither do they reap; yet your State feedeth them.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the State shall take thought for things of itself.

Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad: for great is thy reward from the State.

The State is the light of the world. A mountain of debt cannot be hid.

So forgive the State its debts as It shalt not forgive thine.

Let the State’s light so shine before men that they may see its good works, and glorify Him which is in Downing Street, and his number is ten.

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise remain in thy pocket, till all are poor.

And when the State doest alms, let thy left hand be tied to thy right hand, and thy left foot to thy right foot.

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife shalt be smitten for murder, but I say unto you that marriage is in no wise righteous save for marriage betwixt two men, and two women also.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye. But I say unto you that whosoever punisheth an unrighteous man cannot be my servant.

Give to George that he asketh thee, and to him that would borrow a mountain turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Though shalt love thy neighbour. But I say unto you, Love thy State, bless them that ruin you, be good to them that take thy country away, and pray for them that persecute you.

That ye may be the children of thy State which is in Westminster, for it decideth what is good for you and samewise what is bad.

For your State knoweth what things ye have need of, and what ye have no need of.

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your State which is in Westminster is perfect.

Lay up for yourselves treasures upon the State, where thieves break through and steal.

For where your treasure is, there will your State be also.

Ye cannot serve the State and God.

I am the State, thy God.


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