USA and Bulgaria unite against Dave

According to America’s VP Joe Biden, Dave’s vague promise – well, a hint at the contingent possibility of a promise – of an EU referendum puts in jeopardy world peace, prosperity and security.

According to Bulgaria’s Foreign Minister Nikolai Mladenov, Dave’s obliquely expressed reluctance to greet with open arms another million Balkan immigrants puts in jeopardy any chance of an EU compromise that’s supposed to precede the vaguely promised  referendum.

If I were Dave, I’d consider the sources and wonder what I’m doing right. It’s also worth pondering the likelihood that the pincer attack on Britain was coordinated.

I wonder where Joe Biden got this idea? Could it be that he’s again talking to Neil Kinnock, whose speech he famously plagiarised during his own run for US presidency? Show me a man who has to depend on Kinnock for his mots justes, and I’ll show you a man whose IQ resides way down south. Surely such a man couldn’t have come up with the usual federastic arguments on his own, without help from someone who knows the mantra by heart?

Actually, I forgot. Joe has just had talks with Angela Merkel and François Hollande who must have given him the script and taught him how to read it properly. ‘Nein, Joe, Sweden and Switzerland are not ze same country. Nicht! And neither are Slovakia and Slovenia, you dummkopf. And don’t forget to tell David zat a referendum ist ausgeschlossen.’ ‘Angie a raison, Zho, but no? She eez une femme very intelligent and very, comment vous dites? sexee.’

It’s also likely that Joe’s proximity to the original source of his wisdom involves a degree of separation. Its name is Obama, who has already enunciated all the same objections in several telephone conversations with Dave. One way or the other, no dummy can talk without the help of a ventriloquist.

‘We believe,’ says Biden, ‘that the United Kingdom is stronger as a result of its membership.’ Exactly how? By having to comply with business-stifling red tape? By destroying its own fishery industry? By having culturally alien laws stuffed down its throat? By having most power removed from its ancient parliament? By not being able to keep millions of immigrants away and off our welfare rolls?

And it takes a mind even more decayed than Joe’s to aver that the EU ‘makes critical contributions… to prosperity.’ How does it do that, at this time particularly? By pegging all eurozone currencies to the mark, thereby perpetuating Germany’s dominant position in Europe and suffocating competitiveness all over the continent? By laying trillions in cheap money on the less prosperous countries and thus ruining them with debt?

‘That is our view,’ says Biden. Fine, Joe, that’s your view. Just keep it to yourself, will you? You’ll look more intelligent that way. And don’t talk to Angie and François too often; it’s not good for you.

As to Mladenov, he comes across as God sending all those plagues on Egypt. ‘If this debate [about keeping the number of Balkan arrivals down ever so slightly] continues the way it’s heading, it will definitely dampen the enthusiasm for cooperation between the two countries,’ he warns in his good English learned at King’s College, London.

I realise that the prospect of Bulgaria’s ire must have every Briton quaking in his boots. On the other hand, tighter immigration quotas, coupled with more rigid admission standards at King’s College, might keep at bay some of the more undesirable elements disgorged by Eastern Europe.

What Mladenov is actually threatening isn’t just Bulgaria’s displeasure but her potential refusal to support the EU compromise so dear to what passes for Dave’s heart. It’s amazing how the gentlest hint at the very distant possibility that Britain might want to reclaim some of her sovereignty brings all those bullies and blackmailers out of the woodwork.

I think both Biden and Mladenov should apply for a remedial course at the Neil Kinnock Academy for Fine Rhetoric. It’s a good finishing school for those who’ve already matriculated at the Angie and François School of Bullying.

What a shame we no longer have a Prime Minister capable of standing up to such people.


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