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The Tories are running out of bribery money

If you read about as fast as I do, it has taken you three seconds to read this headline.

During the same time the UK national debt has grown by £15,510, which is, you must agree, pretty good going.

Or, depending on your point of view, pretty bad going. Catastrophic, come to think of it.

Our debt is currently but a cat’s whisker under £1.5 trillion. If it continues to accelerate at the same rate, over the next five years it’ll grow by £8,152,056,000,000. Before long we’ll be talking serious money.

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Dispatches from the madhouse (otherwise known as news)

If you still doubt we’re living in a lunatic asylum run by the inmates, read today’s papers, especially our domestic news.

World news does occasionally introduce a faint touch of sanity, this time supplied by France.

The cast of Opéra Bastille in Paris stopped singing La Traviata halfway through, and not in protest to its demotic music.

The singers objected to the sight of a burka-clad woman in the audience. And – make sure you’re prepared for the shock – no one called the police to have the reactionary vocalists arrested.

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Barroso’s strong, if unwitting, argument against the EU

Obviously the outgoing gauleiter of the European Commission didn’t make that argument in so many words.

However, he does make it in his person. For an organisation that brings the likes of him to the fore has to be fatally flawed, not to say downright evil.

José Manuel Barroso began his political career in the ranks of an underground Maoist party committed to terrorism as a valid form of political self-expression.

His aim then was to destroy the sovereign government of Portugal, and he pursued it with youthful vigour.

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“Madam” isn’t just Merkel’s title. It’s part of her job

During a Formula One race in Sochi Bernie Ecclestone was sufficiently impressed with Col. Putin to suggest he could run both Europe and America if he could find time in his busy schedule.

Bernie didn’t specify what made the good colonel’s schedule so busy, probably deciding it would be impolite to suggest that his host’s time is mostly taken up with ripping off his own country and attacking his neighbours.

Alexander's picture

The world has gone mad, sex-mad in this case

The impression that we now live in a lunatic asylum, with the lunatics running it, is getting stronger by the day.

It’s impossible to open a paper, even a supposedly conservative one, without reading at least one article whose author shows every symptom of being not just intellectually backward but downright insane.

Alexander's picture

Smoking isn’t the worst thing children can see in public parks

Generally, it takes American perversions five to ten years to reach our shores.

This happens invariably and inexorably. The self-appointed leader of the free world mandates political correctness, homomarriage, reduction in greenhouse gases, reverse discrimination in favour of racial minorities or women, multi-culti rectitude, vegetarianism as a political statement – give it a few years and we’ll follow suit with obsequious alacrity.

Alexander's picture

The Vatican makes an offer I can’t understand

Doublespeak, doubletalk, newspeak are rapidly ousting straight talk from official discourse.

Connotation trumps denotation, subtext overpowers text, semiotics ride roughshod over semantics.

Alexander's picture

Socialism, playing FTSE with equality

“Under capitalism,” cynical Muscovites used to quip, “man oppresses man. Under socialism it’s the other way around.”

There’s only one area in which socialism is demonstrably more successful than capitalism: mendacious propaganda.

In that sense, propaganda is like advertising: repeated often enough and long enough, it housetrains the populace to accept slogans as reality.

Alexander's picture

The spivs are running scared

Ukip may win anywhere between 12 and 25 parliamentary seats come next May, say the polls.

They also say that the Tories and Ukip will win about 50 per cent of the vote between them, with Labour getting just over a third.

Alexander's picture

Down with couplism, the scourge of our time

London filmmaker Grace Gelder has just lent a helping hand to Dave’s noble drive towards broadening the concept of marriage.

An expansion was self-evidently necessary. Anyone could see that insistence on the outdated notion of marriage as a union between one (1) man and one (1) woman was out of keeping with the inclusive spirit of modernity.

We live to be happy, don’t we? Everyone knows there can be no other purpose to life.

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