How to lie factually

  • Posted on: 30 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

By way of illustration, I’m going to quote the headline and lead paragraph of yesterday’s article in The Daily Mail.

The article falls in line with the general thrust of our coverage of Israel: the Palestinians may be a little rough round the edges, but they have a legitimate grievance. The Israelis, on the other hand, don’t so much react to manifestations of such grievances as overreact.

Naked at the altar

  • Posted on: 29 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

Every day brings confirmations to the dawning truth that no satire can keep pace with the modern world.

It seems as if it was only yesterday when I made sly comments about women priests complaining about the sexless attire they have to wear. Responding to the growing demand, a famous designer began to fashion clerical clothes accentuating womanly charms.

The Nazis had some good points too

  • Posted on: 28 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

According to Diane Abbott, Labour’s international development spokesman, “Mao did more good than wrong.” Specifically, he left his country “on the verge of great economic success.”

This shows an enviable consistency of opinion, for back in 2008 Miss Abbott explained to a TV audience that “I suppose that… Mao did more good than wrong. We can’t say that about the Nazis.”

Putin can’t have Turkey for breakfast

  • Posted on: 27 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

A dilemma is goring my friend Vlad with its horns. The Turks slapped him in the face (or stabbed him in the back, as he put it) by shooting down his bomber, so what’s he going to do about it?

On the one hand, the temptation to do something cataclysmic is strong. No one disses Vlad and gets away with it.

It’s not about losing a plane. It’s about losing face. When Vlad was growing up as a ‘common street thug’, by his frank self-description, losing face meant losing respect.

Thank God there’s no more phoney talk of austerity

  • Posted on: 26 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

Whatever happened to austerity, George? This question screams off the front pages of today’s papers.

This curiosity has been prompted by the Chancellor’s announcement that the government will go an a £27-billion spending spree, something that doesn’t quite tally with its much-vaunted austerity drive.

Is austerity dead then? That’s a good question to which there’s a good answer. Austerity isn’t dead because it never lived.

Like most things political these days, the notion existed in the virtual world only. It had nothing to do with reality.

Juncker is right and Farage is wrong

  • Posted on: 24 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

“There will be no Brexit,” announced Jean-Claude Juncker or Junk, as he’s known to his friends. He then helped himself to a snifter of the finest brandy southwest France can offer.

Ukip leader Nigel Farage begged to differ, and the two men’s views on the situation are as opposite as their tastes in liquid refreshments: cognac by the bottle for Junk, beer by the bucket for Nige.

“Insufferable ignorance,” said Farage, blowing some foam off his pint. “The British people will decide for themselves and I’m confident they’ll vote for prosperity and freedom.”

The madness of King Charles III

  • Posted on: 23 November 2015
  • By: Alexander

At least George III waited until he was on the throne to go bonkers. The Prince of Wales has already given an indication of a premature onset – along with the hope that his accession to the eponymous title won’t happen soon.

Prince Charles ascribes the blood-soaked chaos in Syria, and generally in the Middle East to – brace yourself – climate change, “one of the major reasons for this horror.”