Alexander's picture

May I marry my sister, dog or several women at once?

The US Supreme Court’s decision that homomarriage is a constitutional right strikes a blow against aesthetics, morality, millennia of both religious and secular history, demographics – and the very idea of a written constitution.

This ruling was predictably greeted, in the US and elsewhere, by a celebration of degeneracy sickening even by the normally abysmal standards of Gay Pride parades.

Alexander's picture

His Holiness adds a whole new dimension to papal trips

Pope Francis has declared that he plans to chew coca leaves on his forthcoming visit to Bolivia. Now I’ve heard of patronising local produce, but this just may go too far.

As a general rule of thumb, perhaps prelates should refrain from doing (or sampling) things that would make Ali G bump fists with them and say “Respect!”

I wonder whether this papal wish is coincidental, or he actually decided to visit Bolivia specifically because coca is grown there.

Alexander's picture

The writing’s on the wall, and it says “F*** the Jews”

London’s finest are proud of themselves: they’ve managed to shift anti-Semitic marches to be held on 4 July a few miles away from the Jewish areas.

Banning them altogether isn’t on, according to a police spokesman: “We have a duty to safeguard the right to protest, and cannot impose unreasonable restrictions upon that right. We carefully consider the use of any of our powers against the Human Rights Act.”

If ever I’ve heard a ringing denunciation of that pernicious Act, there it is.

Alexander's picture

Wimbledon, the hotbed of political incorrectness

As a lifetime champion of political correctness, I’m deeply offended by the flagrant sexism of Wimbledon officials.

We all know that treating the sexes equally is the cornerstone of modern morality. What other cornerstone can there be anyway? The Decalogue? The Sermon on the Mount? If you think that, wake up and smell modernity.

In that – unassailable! – spirit, men and women get equal prize money at Wimbledon and other majors, even though this clashes with many time-honoured practices.

Alexander's picture

Another Muslim atrocity, another proof of Cameron’s alien origin

Dave’s reaction to the Tunisian massacre proves yet again that he isn’t human in any other than the purely technical sense. Oh, he has all the requisite body parts, and one may even claim with some anatomical accuracy that he has a brain.

Yet possessing a brain isn’t a uniquely human characteristic. The manner of using it is, and that’s where Dave shows his extra-human nature, proving he belongs to Homo politicus, not Homo sapiens.

Alexander's picture

Democracy, Putin style

The following declaration has been issued by 20 Russian human rights organisations, including the Helsinki Group:

“Russia’s social, political and human rights movements and organisations sharing such values as respect for human dignity, freedom, democracy, equality, the rule of law and human rights are appalled by the bandit methods of opposing public control over elections in our country.

Alexander's picture

I didn’t even know the Dalai Lama was so cool

These days few things surprise me any longer, but even an old cynic like me was somewhat taken aback by the news that the Dalai Lama will visit Glastonbury Festival tomorrow.

Before you know it, the old boy will enter the GQ Best Dressed Contest – and will be the odds-on favourite to win.

Alexander's picture

France sends a message: rioting pays

Let’s say you lead a union with a grievance. What are you going to do about it?

If you’re in France, the answer is as simple as things of genius always are. You tell your members to do a spot of rioting. You know, block a few roads, burn some tyres, overturn a few cars, take a few swings at cops, smash a few car windows with baseball bats (these are in plentiful supply even though no one plays baseball).

Alexander's picture

Give us division over unity any time, Your Majesty

The Queen, God bless her, doesn’t speak her own mind in public. She speaks the PM’s mind, in this instance Dave’s.

That’s why one can’t really blame her for joining the campaign portrayed by the government as an epic struggle between David (Cameron) and Goliath (the EU).

Against overwhelming odds, David claims to be swinging his slingshot loaded with the stone of reforms. The composition of the stone remains unknown, but then it’s only a tool.

Alexander's picture

Russia is a saint, and don’t you dare forget it

 Ever since the brutal attack on the Ukraine, the world has been wracking its collective brain to find out what Russia is all about. Patriarch Kiril graciously agreed to satisfy this curiosity in a recent sermon:

“Our national idea consists in achieving sainthood… [This] largely determines our culture, the aims of our education, our literature and, finally, our people’s view of life, their understanding of what is good and what is evil, where they should go in life and what end they should reach.”


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