Alexander's picture

I’m appalled at Eugenie Bouchard’s detractors and Kim Sears

In case you don’t know, Kim is the fiancée of Andy Murray, the tennis player who’ll contest the final of the Australian Open on Sunday.

She is a pretty girl with luxuriant hair and eyes that remind me of my plate after dinner: round and empty.

Kim is also a quick learner, absorbing the lessons taught both by her betrothed and Mirka, otherwise known as Mrs Federer.

Alexander's picture

And then Wellington was exiled to St Helena…

Surely you must know this? Napoleon was one of the greatest men in history, while the Duke of Wellington was a ‘frightful nobody’.

That explains why Napoleon was the true victor in the Battle of Waterloo, at least “in terms of public relations, in terms of his historical importance.”

This peculiar take on history came from Frank Samson, the French lawyer who’ll play Napoleon in the re-enactment to be staged in commemoration of the bicentenary of the famous battle.

Alexander's picture

Not a good week for Vlad Putin

On Saturday morning, Putin’s bandits used Putin’s Grad missile launchers to hit a residential quarter in the Ukrainian city of Mariupol on the Azov Sea.

Altogether 120 rockets were fired, killing 30 and wounding 102. Most of the victims were civilians.

The spotting services for the barrage were kindly provided by a Mariupol resident, who turned out to be a traffic cop, not a universally admired profession at the best of times.

Alexander's picture

“I’m an idiot,” admits Benedict Cumberbatch

One ought to compliment the actor on his capacity for frank self-assessment. Not many idiots acknowledge their mental deficiency with such openness and equanimity.

Actually, as someone who grew up in an actor’s family, I know that Mr Cumberbatch’s honesty was pretty much redundant. All he had to say was “I’m an actor.”

I’m not trying to suggest that it’s impossible to find an intelligent actor. All I’m saying is that I’ve never met one, and I’ve met many thespians in my life.

Alexander's picture

Kouachi brothers are terrorists? Not to the BBC

According to Tarik Kafala, head of BBC Arabic, the word ‘terrorist’ is too ‘loaded’ and ‘value-laden’. Why not just say “two men killed 12 people” and leave it at that?

I agree wholeheartedly.

The English language has grown way too big for its own good. All this innate English pedantry has led to uncountable concepts fractured into numerous sub-concepts, each demanding its own word.

Alexander's picture

Trust Tony to find the right words for Abdullah

King Abdullah’s death deeply saddened the heads of both our state and government.

Dave and the Queen manufactured sadness for public consumption with enviable skill, finding some balance between diplomatic protocol and hamming it up.

They then agreed that flags should be flown at half mast over Buckingham Palace, the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey.

Alexander's picture

Putin’s TV show merits a Golden Globe at least

The other day a mortar shell hit a trolleybus stop in the beleaguered Ukrainian city of Donetsk, sending shards of glass, pieces of metal and body parts flying.

Both sides in the conflict blamed each other for the killing of 13 victims, with the bandits calling themselves the Donetsk People’s Republic screaming ‘Stop thief!’ more loudly.

Alexander's picture

A trillion here, a trillion there…

Have you noticed how the word ‘trillion’, in whatever currency, has become part of everyday vocabulary?

No one writing about Western economies bothers mentioning puny little millions any longer, and thousands might as well be dirt under our feet. Even the billion, until recently thought to be a fairly respectable monetary unit, has fallen by the wayside.

We, meaning Westerners, are so rich that we think in trillions now. Isn’t it absolutely wonderful?

Alexander's picture

Perhaps all Anglicans should convert to Buddhism

I’ve been trying for years to find a good word to say about the professional Tory Tim Montgomerie of The Times, but he makes it extremely difficult.

So much happier I was to see the title of his today’s article The Church Is Blighted by Its Left-Wing Bias. At last, I thought, preparing to enjoy every word. Tim has finally seen the light and he’s going to shine it upon us.

Alexander's picture

One sane man in a mad world

Our time is supposed to be the natural development of the Age of Reason. Yet upon even a cursory examination this Reason strikes one as rather, well, unreasonable.


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