Hot and cool: high fashion comes to UK

From our fashion correspondent Giza Shagg: The world of fashion gasped with delight and awe this New Year’s Eve, when celebrated designer Ima Slagg introduced her 2018 collection.

Following the resounding triumph of her travelling show Dress for Excess, the consensus in the industry is that never before has Britain been treated to such a radical reassessment of the very notion of taste and probity.

Slagg clothes are designed for women as they are, not for the anorexic waifs some other designers wish them to be. The epitome of chic modernity, a Slagg woman is comfortable in her skin – so comfortable in fact that she hardly needs any other garments.

The understated elegance of Miss Slagg’s creations happily coexists with a subtle sensual appeal and daring disdain for inclement weather. “This winter we’re all Slaggs at heart,” commented Vogue fashion columnist Maxima Logorrhoea.

“And Slaggs we’ll remain. After this, it’s impossible to go out without Slagg’s clothes. If you drink too much, you should wear too little – the industry owes Ima for this insight.”

“I’d feel naked without my Slagg dress,” echoed Maxima’s Cosmo counterpart Chlamydia Case. “Come to think of it, I feel naked in it,” she added with a seductive smile. “But that’s fine. We must always remember the first commandment of refined taste: If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

“Too sensual? What a load of tosh,” added Harper’s Bazaar fashion editor Candida Albicans. “Women have repressed their true selves for too long. It’s time we let our femininity hang out, time we took pride in what we are, what we do – and also where and to whom we do it.”

Our photographers have captured the triumphant march of Slagg’s clothes through the country, especially its northern part.

Ima Slagg is a designer for our time, a sartorial comment on modernity. Ima refuses to see progress strictly in scientific and technological terms. To her, aesthetics progress as rapidly as material innovations, and in her able hands the former may even outpace the latter.

Fashion makes a statement, it’s a woman’s way of screaming defiance at the male-dominated world. And a Slagg woman will never hide her femininity. “I’m a modern woman – and proud of it,” she announces thunderously. “Take me or leave me, and make bloody sure it’s the former.”