The kind of affair I mean isn’t the coupling of bodies but the meeting of minds. When both minds are perverse, they run the risk of an awful affliction, a sort of mental AIDS (Acquired Intellectual Deficiency Syndrome).
Peter first went down on his knee in 2012, when he praised Col. Putin as the ‘strong leader’ he wished we had. In today’s Mail article, Peter, God bless his cotton socks, screams his love for Vladimir yet again.
Col. Putin, he says, is at odds with the West because he feels unloved. By us, that is. This is an injustice Peter has set out to correct, sticking out for his bit of rough.
Vladimir, according to his swain Peter, is like a murderer who, according to his lawyer, only killed because his Mummy was a whore, he never knew his Daddy and the flat-screen TV set in his room was only a 19-inch.
Thus the object of Peter’s affection is only raping the Ukraine the way he previously raped Chechnia, Georgia and his own people because “We have been rubbing Russia up the wrong way for nearly 25 years.”
Had we been rubbing Russia up the right way, Col. Putin wouldn’t be murdering everyone he dislikes, including, incidentally, dozens of Peter’s Russian colleagues. He wouldn’t have blown up blocks of flats in his own country to provoke aggression against Chechnia. He wouldn’t have turned Russia into a giant crime syndicate. And he wouldn’t have waged nuclear war in London by using polonium to murder Litvinenko.
Our lovelorn hero draws some interesting parallels. How is it, he complains, that we’re on good terms with China but not with Russia? That’s an easy question to answer and, if Peter’s burning love for Putin weren’t making him babble sweet nothings, he’d see it for himself.
First, ever since the so-called ‘collapse of the Soviet Union’ the West has been more than on good terms with Russia. It has been bending over backwards to accommodate her. Billions have been pumped into the country, with most of them settling in the private accounts of international gangsters, i.e. Col. Putin’s friends and proxies.
This vindicated the observation that foreign aid is the transfer of funds from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries, but then the late Lord Bauer was able to think straight – he wasn’t in ‘lurv’.
The West has been mollycoddling Russia, and specifically Col. Putin, with nothing short of spineless obsequiousness. Yet in every conflict in which the West is involved it invariably finds Russia on the opposite side.
Putin’s Russia has been arming, either openly or secretly, every disgusting regime you can think of. When this is done secretly, Col. Putin deals with every whistleblower in his customary manner. Thus the Kommersant reporter Ivan Safronov was defenestrated in 2007 for exposing Russia’s secret supplies of arms to Iran and Syria. And you don’t think all of Iran’s nuclear know-how came from France, do you?
True, China is no friend of ours either, but at least, over the last couple of decades she has been behaving in a reasonably friendly manner, mainly by eagerly turning herself into the West’s source of cheap labour. It may all come to grief later, and I fear it will, but the West’s dealings with China are based not on love but on a cold-blooded calculation of costs and benefits.
Vodka apart, the only thing Russia supplies to the West is the stuff that comes out of the ground, and it’s a wasting asset. In anticipation of the time when the asset has been wasted, Russia has been using her oil revenues to arm herself to the teeth.
Not only is Russia the dominant military force in Europe, but it’s clearly on the way to being able to match up to NATO globally, especially in view of the West’s demob-happy disarmament.
If Peter’s parallel with China is spurious, the one he draws between Scotland and the Ukraine is frankly ignorant. “Imagine how you would feel if Russia’s Foreign Minister turned up at SNP rallies in Edinburgh, backing Scottish independence,” he invites.
There’s a salient difference here, Peter. Scotland is part of the United Kingdom, and has been for 300 years. The Ukraine, on the other hand, became an independent country in 1991 and wishes to stay that way. Unless this escaped Peter’s attention, she’s no longer part of the Soviet Union.
True, there’s little in the Ukraine’s history to suggest she can stay independent for ever. It’s also true that she joined the Russian Empire voluntarily 360 years ago, for fear of suffering the same atrocities at Poland’s hands as she herself had perpetrated on the Jews (Bohdan Khmelnytsky’s record of anti-Semitic massacres stood unchallenged until Hitler).
But the Ukraine has earned her chance at least to try – God knows she has suffered enough at Russia’s hands, mainly courtesy of Col. Putin’s sponsoring organization.
Now that we’re in the business of parallels, I’d like to indulge in one that works much better. Imagine how you’d feel if it were 1968, the same 23 years since the collapse of Nazi Germany as have elapsed since the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Imagine further that Germany’s government is made up of either career criminals or former SS and SD officers led by an Obersturmbannführer (an equivalent of Putin’s KGB rank).
This government openly refuses to atone for Hitler’s crimes, trying to rehabilitate Hitler and portray him as mainly a stern but effective manager (as Putin’s government is doing with Stalin).
Germany’s leader is publicly proud of his SS past (as Putin is proud of his KGB career: “There’s no such thing as ex-KGB. This is for life.”). He regards the defeat of Nazi Germany as “the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the twentieth century” (as Putin regards the collapse of the Soviet Union).
Under his tutelage Germany is committed to rebuilding the Third Reich by either bribing or forcing its former parts to rejoin Germany (as Putin is doing with the former Soviet republics). Even as we speak, it’s launching yet another aggressive war (as Putin is doing in the Ukraine).
Lest the West protest too vociferously, Germany, already the world’s second greatest nuclear power, is rebuilding her military muscle to its erstwhile strength (as Putin is doing in Russia).
So how would you feel? More to the point, how would Peter feel? One suspects that he’d scream bloody murder, demanding that the West unite to repel the evil, by force of arms if necessary.
But Russia wasn’t Nazi; she was communist as Peter himself was as a young but already mature adult. So he’s upset that the West is trying – feebly, it has to be said – to “detach Ukraine from Russia and draw her into the EU orbit, knowing very well that this would infuriate Moscow”.
Infuriate Moscow? Can’t do that, perish the thought.
Peter, Peter, Peter, such a sensible lad on most other issues. Apparently, to paraphrase his love interest, “there’s no such thing as” ex-communist. Once in, never out. No doubt, when the Ukraine is first raped and then murdered, Peter will dance on her grave, his arm tenderly embracing Col. Putin’s waist.