Same-sex marriage as a venerable Christian institution

As the parliamentary vote on homomarriage draws nearer, arguments in favour are becoming ever more idiotic. But even against this background, the Equalities Minister Helen Grant can claim pride of place.

For she supports this abomination not as the ultimate authority on equality but as the Christian she claims to be. Thereby Mrs Grant has earned my gratitude by communicating in no uncertain terms that politicians can sink to an even lower intellectual and moral level than I imagined. I thought, against evidence it has to be said, there was a lower limit to their knavery, and I thank Helen for correcting this lamentable mistake.

Christians, says this self-described ‘God-fearing woman’, should support homomarriage because it upholds the Christian values of ‘justice’ and ‘fairness’. Admittedly, I can’t cite any scriptural injunction against same-sex marriage – for the simple reason that either at the time Scripture was compiled or in the subsequent two millennia this possibility never occurred to anyone this side of the lunatic asylum.

But the underlying activity receives quite a few mentions in both Testaments, from Leviticus 18, 20 to Romans 1: 24-32. Each time it’s described in wrathful, accusatory, apocalyptic terms. Thus, for example, St Paul: ‘Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.’

But then St Paul didn’t have the benefit of advice from a true Christian, our Equalities Minister. She would have explained to him what his religion was all about. Helen’s faith, she says, ‘is very fundamental to everything I do and think.’ Evidently St Paul’s faith wasn’t.

This utterly objectionable woman occupying an utterly useless, not to say subversive, post consistently confuses Christianity with the remit of a diversity consultant, or else of an Equalities Minister. Christianity to her is about ‘justice, equality, fairness, ending discrimination…’

Jesus himself saw his religion differently, but then he too was deprived of Helen’s sage counsel. Had he benefited from it, he would never have attacked the scribes and Pharisees in such demonstrably unfair, discriminatory terms. ‘Blind’, ‘fools’, ‘your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness’, ‘For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter the kingdom of heaven.’

Really? And there we were, thinking that the kingdom of heaven was an equal-opportunity employer subject to EU Equality Directives.

One wonders if Mrs Grant worships the same Christ who thunders, Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.’ Alas, the gospels stubbornly refuse to sate her hunger for a touchy-feely Jesus who wouldn’t be out of place seeking employment with the social services. Verily I say unto you, it’s not just the language of Scripture but also its content that ought to be changed to suit our infinitely more progressive needs.

A friend’s little son was recently asked at school what the name was, starting with an A, for someone who isn’t sure that God exists. After a moment’s thought, the boy, proud of knowing the answer, replied, ‘Anglican!’ I wonder if Mrs Grant, who belongs to the Church of England, would give the same answer.

One just wishes these spivocrats left Christianity alone. They’re going to push this abominable bill through Parliament anyway, what with 60 percent of the Tories supporting it and just about 100 percent of the other two parties.

Why, even those who previously opposed the bill, such as Justice Secretary Chris Grayling and Minister for Faith Baroness Warsi (which faith would that be, Sayeeda?), have now seen the light and heard the voice. Sounding amazingly like Dave, the voice said, ‘Why persecutest thou me? Art thou missing the back benches, thou infidel?’

So the spivocrats, ably led by Dave, are well justified in feeling smug about the whole thing. There’s no need to add blasphemy to their other qualities we all know and love: cynicism, cowardice, egoism, amorality, absence of principles. Leave the real Gospels alone, chaps; stick to the secular ones, the EU Charter for Fundamental Rights or something. That’s where you belong.

As to Helen Grant, you’re wrong, dear. Homomarriage isn’t ‘consistent with Christian values’, nor indeed with purely secular decency and common sense. Neither is the very existence of an equalities minister consistent with any sound definition of a free country. 

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