What a pathetic show that Victory Day parade was. No armour, no ICBMs, practically no planes except a few aerobics performers flying antediluvian SUs.
Now that the Ukrainians have drones and missiles with enough range to rain on that parade, Putin decided not to risk turning Red Square into a scrapyard of charred tanks. It’s not as if there was a shortage of armour around Moscow.
Ever since Ukrainians learned how to use tanks for target practice, most of those Russian machines have been deployed a safe distance from the front line. However, Putin wisely judged that they wouldn’t be safe in central Moscow yesterday. Russian air defences are too permeable, for all the recent technological advances.
The absence of tanks and rockets was neatly complemented by the near-absence of foreign dignitaries. Even the presidents of Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan didn’t want to attend, and Putin had to beg them to make an appearance. Beg, not threaten to inflict the proverbial ten plagues – he knew his threats wouldn’t be taken seriously.
Zelensky’s threat was taken very seriously though. He hinted several times that his own missiles just might take part in that parade, to celebrate the occasion with some festive fireworks. That forced Putin to beg – that dread word again – Trump to ask Zelensky to desist. The Donald was only too happy to oblige, if only to show that his words still carry weight with the Ukraine.
They really don’t. It’s just that Zelensky has probably heard the old chess adage (attributed to Aron Nimzowitsch) saying that a threat is stronger than its execution. That particular threat was made credible by a Moscow upmarket high-rise having been hit on Tuesday, just a couple of miles from Red Square.
Then of course Putin had to deliver a speech, in which he described NATO in roughly similar terms to those Stalin reserved for the Nazi invaders in 1941. That dastardly alliance, explained Vlad, is “funding and supporting” the Ukraine’s aggression against Russia, which doesn’t prevent “our heroes” from advancing.
“Our heroes” haven’t done much advancing lately, nor indeed over the past 12 years. All they have to show for their heroism is a measly 20 per cent of the Ukraine’s territory.
The Red Army took less than a year to take all of the Ukraine in 1944, and the Nazis were no slouches in defence. Putin ought to have done himself a favour by shutting up, not to encourage people to draw such comparisons.
But he doesn’t feel he has to practise self-restraint: the Russians have been brainwashed so thoroughly that they will believe any rubbish uttered by their chieftain. Why, they even believe it was the Ukraine that attacked Russia, not vice versa.
Even so, one has to admire the nerve it takes to make that claim ad urbi et orbi. The orbi is a great deal less credulous than the urbi, and one can just hear people say, “Yeah, right. It was the Ukrainian army of murderers, rapists and looters that swept into Russia to destroy her as a sovereign nation and subject her population to genocide. Of course it was, who could’ve ever doubted that.”
I was especially moved by the sight of North Korean troops goosestepping through Red Square. Some 14,000 have been sent by Kim to die for his doppelgänger in the Kremlin, and about half of them have duly done so.
The parade’s Tannoy announcer praised them for their “mass heroism, selflessness and courage”, displayed in expelling “neo-Nazi invaders” from the Ukraine. I get it: Ukrainians invaded the Ukraine, and it takes Kim’s slaves to reclaim their ancestral land some 4,500 miles from Korea. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
The whole obscenity lasted just 45 minutes, and Putin spoke for only 10 minutes. Let me tell you, wit isn’t the only thing brevity is the soul of. It can also be the soul of a despot knowing that his end is near and being unable to do anything about it.
Putin ended on a bravura note: “Victory has always been and always will be ours.” Tell that to the marines, Vlad. Provided you have any left.
P.S. They say there’s always the first time for everything, and this morning at Mass I found a confirmation of that truism. That’s the thing with truisms: they usually earn that status by being true.
Until this morning. I had never in my life heard Shostakovich’s Preludes and Fugues (or rather just one Fugue, No. 4 if I’m not mistaken) played as liturgical organ music. Now I have, and all I can say is it didn’t sound out of place even though it was followed by Byrd, Monteverdi and Bach.